Moment Of Clarity

I work out for the performance, and the feeling. The looks come with it. But it’s my life. It’s who I am. I am literally addicted. To excellence. When I lift it carries over to everything. You have to act and perform like the best to get there. Can’t wait till I hit my peak. Then time to confuse my body, and hit another peak. There’s only one way to go, and that’s up, always.

I thought we were pretty good friends, than randomly and almost instantaneously, everything changed. But I guess that’s life haha weird shit happens. I’d still always be here if you needed, but that was just strange if you ask me. Oh well, I’m doing 110% better in every way. So something like that won’t get me down haha

“I’m in my zone, my form is so rare man. If there’s a throne, you’re looking at the chair man. How you want it? Show me my opponent.”

my mom asked when she would see you next, I told her I don’t know if she will see you again. then today she came downstairs and asked if I was okay and if I was alright with you and me being apart. I told her yeah it’s all fine, even though it’s not. but at this point it’s whatever anyway. at least she tries to care sometimes though. she means well, but we’re not that close.

There’s so much I wish I could say to you, but none of it would even matter. I wish things would have ended differently. that right now, I could drive to your house, sweep you off your feet, and kiss you right now. Hold you close and not be scared to let go that I won’t have the chance to again. Text or talk to you from sun up to sun down; wake up and go to sleep happy. Instead of laying in bed alone, staring at the clock, listening to the rain, real late at night. Or waking up, checking my phone, seeing nothing, and it staying that way until at least ten or eleven. I just wish we gave it another try. Regardless of everything that’s happened, I still feel that way. Maybe I am a masochist… Or maybe I just try to remember the times that WERE truly good before it all went awry. Who knows.